Live What You Believe #SongSunday
Did you know that there’s an anthem for life as a military spouse?
The hazard of learning the songs to a musical before actually seeing the musical is that you learn the music out of context. Sometimes, though, you discover a song that reaches you deeply because it doesn’t matter what scene it comes from, it’s telling a story you already know.
Perhaps that explains the tears that flowed down my cheeks the first time I heard “Tightrope” from The Greatest Showman.
Spurred by friends raving about the music, I cued up the soundtrack while cooking dinner. Without context, the first few songs were nice, but not going to be on repeat in my house, yet. And then I heard Tightrope. {If you haven’t heard this, look it up and press play.}
I remember chuckling as she began singing.
“Some people long for a life that is simple and planned, tied with a ribbon;
Some people won’t sail the sea ‘cause they’re safer on land…
But I’d follow you to the great unknown, off to a world we call our own.”
That’s the life of a military spouse, I thought. There’s no “simple and planned” here.
“…high in the sky, we can see the whole world down below…”
I may be revising my plans constantly, but this life certainly gives me a new perspective on the world.
“…it’s all an adventure, that comes with a breathtaking view…”
Yes. Adventure, that’s one word for it.
Life as a military spouse is really not for the faint of heart. They ought to pass out hiking boots and a backpack when they issue your dependent ID card.
“…mountains and valleys, and all that will come in between, desert and ocean…”
Truth. The highest highs and the lowest lows. No oceans so far – just cows and cornfields, bayous and Badlands.
“…so I risk it all, just to be with you. I risk it all for this life we choose.”
I’m not entirely sure, but this might have been when the tears started. Because this is my heartbeat as a military spouse: I choose him. I choose to be with him. And while I don’t always love the military, I always love us. Remembering to distinguish between the military and my husband is helpful (vital) to our marriage.
Ten years ago, I chose him when I said, “I do!” And I’d say it again today, because my first choice location is always with him.
We may not be where we expected when we started down this path, but I love this life that we choose.
“…hand in my hand, and you promised to never let go.”
So we don’t let go. My favorite place is by his side, walking together, setting off on the adventure that awaits us: mountains, valleys, deserts, oceans…. We’re still trying to find the ocean.
Friends, navigating marriage is one of the most difficult challenges in the life of a military spouse. If this is your journey, don’t go it alone.
- Remember the One who brought you together and saw the path you’d travel even before you began. Every marriage is as unique as the two people in it, so your marriage will be, too. Each of you was created perfectly and purposefully by a Creator who loves you, who loves your spouse, and His handiwork is magnified by your marriage. When life in the military throws curveballs, detours, or deployments, find refuge in the One who holds both of you close. He is FOR you and FOR your marriage.
- Choose your spouse, again and again. Distinguish between the military and your marriage. Just because you’re mad at the military doesn’t mean you’re mad at your spouse. {Maybe you are, but what’s at the root? Circumstances?} How you feel isn’t wrong, but what you do with it matters. Consider how your spouse feels, too, before you pile your emotions on top of theirs. Separate the not good from the good, find your happy thought and remember why you’re here: you chose each other.
- Find your Tribe. We need our fellow military spouse friends because they get it – they’ve walked this road, too, they understand the tightrope. We need our tribe to listen, to encourage, and to remind us why we’re here: because we chose (we choose) our spouse. We need our fellow travelers to cheer us on because we’re invested in each other’s success. There’s no zero sum game here – when one marriage wins, we all win.
If you feel like you’re on the tightrope, don’t worry. You’re in good company. Let’s fly together.
